If you said “No” and he still does it, it’s rape


One of my aunties shared a story of how she had her first sexual experience when she was 19. Now in her 50s, she said her boyfriend a much older man at the time, too her to his house, locked her in a room and she tried to run away, and he carried her to the bed and “had sex” with her. She said it hurt, but that was the first time she had sex.

There was never a point in the conversation where she said she doubted the process of having sex for the first time in that manner, there was no doubt in her mind that the way it happened to her is the way it happens to everyone and that it was the norm to be forced to have sex by your boyfriend.

She is not the only female to share this kind of story with me. I have spoken to three other women who shared the same story, that they tried to escape and their partner held them down and had sex with them. To these women, this was how it was supposed to happen.

FYI my dear Samoan sisters, if you say no to a guy, if you run away or have any doubts about wanting sex, it means ‘NO’ and by ‘NO’ I mean he is not to force you to have sexual intercourse under any circumstances against your will.

This series is called:

Sefulu Ono Lesona Fa’atatau i Sauaga i Totonu o Aiga